From Baptist to Anglican: "Call No Man Father?"

I've been asked a few questions from my Baptist, Evangelical, and even non Christian friends about The Anglican church. Hence why I started this series in my blog.

Though, one common question that has been popping up lately is why we call our priests "father".

When my husband and I brought a Baptist friend of ours to our church for a visit, he asked "So what do I call your priest?"

(Note, for the purpose of this blog, I'm changing the name of our priest for privacy purposes)

We said "Call him Father Nate."

He said, "I can't do that!"

"Why?" I asked.

"Because, I will only call my heavenly Father and my earthly father, "father".

I was a little confused, but so to not make him uncomfortable, we told him, that if he needed to address him, he could try calling him "Vicar".


I've actually heard this statement before and was a bit confused.

So, I decided to do some research.

You see, most protestants (particularly ones of dispensation theology) have this same philosophy. I wondered where, when I found a verse in Matthew 23:

"And do not call anyone on earth 'father,' for you have one Father, and he is in heaven."

Only thing is, if you take the verse THAT literally, then you shouldn't even call your earthly father, "Father".


However, that is not true, because the Bible references the male parent, as "father" many times.


Most famously is the ten commandments "Honor thy FATHER and mother".


To understand this verse, you must understand the context.

So what is the context?

Well, to find this out, I had to turn to the Roman Catholics.


And no, Anglo Catholic is not the same thing as Roman Catholic. No on needs to revoke my protestant card.

Allow me to explain.

Jesus, in this context is using, a figure of speech known as a hyperbole.

Definition of a hyperbole is: exaggerated statements or claims not meant to be taken literally.

It doesn't mean that we cannot call our own earthly father, "father" because that would deprive The symbol of God's fatherhood meaning.

Jesus in this context is trying to make a point?

So? What's the point?

Christ was using this hyperbole as a way to show the scribes and Pharisees how sinful and proud they were for not looking humbly to God as the source of all authority and fatherhood and teaching, and instead setting themselves up as the ultimate authorities, father figures, and teachers.


He's telling us not to confuse our heavenly father, with any father like figure on this earth.

Because God is the ultimate authority above all.

So you can still call your earthly father, "father".

What about calling Priests/ pastors "father". Is it Biblical?


Actually, yes! It is Biblical to refer to a religious authority as father.

Where you may ask?

In Acts, The old testament prophet Abraham is referred as Father by Saint Stephen.

Acts 7:2
"This was Stephen's reply: "Brothers and fathers, listen to me. Our glorious God appeared to our ancestor Abraham in Mesopotamia before he settled in Haran."

And in Romans 9:10, Saint Paul refers to Isaac as "our father Isaac"

In fact, during Paul's Ministry, he himself is referenced as a father.

in 1 Cor 4:17, Paul refers to Saint Timothy as "my son whom I love".

In Titus 1:4, He calls Titus "My true son in our common faith".

 Neither of these men were Paul’s literal, biological sons. Rather, Paul is emphasizing his spiritual fatherhood with them.



Now, with all this being said, does that mean that every Christian in Every denomination call their pastor "Father".

No, not necessarily.

Pastor comes from the Greek word, "Poimen" which means "Shepard". And we all know the context and the symbolism the Bible uses between a shepherd and his flock.



And if, you still feel uncomfortable using the term "father" when addressing a priest, that's fine. I do encourage that you continue to do research, but if you are more comfortable to address a priest by "Vicar" that's fine.


I just ask that at least now you understand why Lutherans, Anglicans, Episcopalians, Catholics use this term. It's not just tradition they do because they've done it for centuries. They do it because there is biblical truth to it! 

From Baptist to Anglican: intro

So as some of you may know, starting this past December, my husband and I have been attending an Anglo-Catholic church.


I'll be honest, I was a bit hesitant.

I've been a part of many denominations.

I've been Presbyterian, Methodist, Pentecostal, and for the most part, Baptist.

I went to a couple of churches that were not very traditional and actually would kind of bad mouthed traditional churches.

You've probably heard some of them before at certain more modern churches.

"You can't feel the Holy Spirit move in so much ritual!"


"You don't need a book to tell you how to pray!"

"The only people you call father is your earthly father and your heavenly father!"

and the list goes on.


So, I'll admit, when my husband (who has an Episcopal background) told me he wanted to go back to the Anglican church, I was kind of freaked out.


My first time there I felt kind of lost. Stand up, sing the cross, knell down, sign the cross, flip to the prayer, etc.

Those old voices popped into my mind.

How can the Holy Spirit move here?

I was also attached to the Baptist church my family was attending and didn't want to leave.

I was so torn about it, that for a couple of weeks, I stopped attending church all together.

I didn't know what to do.

Then one day, while wallowing in self pity, The Spirit spoke.

"Trust me!" It said. "Follow him."


My husband and I have learned rather quickly that if God is working on one about something, he's also working on the other, even if it's not very apparent at first.

So I decided to give the church a try.

That was 8 months ago. In November I will be confirmed in the Anglo catholic church.


Lately, I've been getting a lot of questions from my more charismatic friends about certain things Anglicans, Orthodox, and Catholics are known for and so I wanted to start a new series on this blog as far as some of the traditions the Anglican church has vs. say the Baptist traditions.


I hope you all enjoy!

Different Burdens, Different Hearts

If you follow me on Facebook you've probably seen a big burden on my heart.

ISIS has driven Christians from Mosul (Formally Nineveh) and threaten that if they didn't leave they either had to covert, pay a "tax" (AKA give them EVERYTHING they had), or die.

I've been following situations with Christians in countries like Iraq, Pakistan, etc. very closely and it has been breaking my heart. I feel a literal ache every time my thoughts wonder about their living conditions there. 

I've been posting a lot of articles about it and I noticed something. Not a lot of people were discussing it. The only news I've been able to get about ISIS in Iraq either comes from The Vicar of Baghdad's Facebook page, a Facebook page for orthodox Christians, and surprisingly, VICE.

Whenever I posted these stories I would see little to know response from my friends and this, at times, infuriated me. 

I remember when the whole stink with Hobby Lobby happened and how EVERYONE was talking about it. Each person voice one opinion or another.

But I thought to myself "This is different! People are DYING! And NO ONE seems to care!"

My husband could tell something was bothering me. I wasn't my normal, cheerful self.

He asked me what was wrong and I told him "I wish more people cared that people were losing their lives instead of all these piddly first world problems that angers people so much here!"

I was furious with people of my country. With people all across the board. Christians, Atheists, Religious, non religious, democratic, republican, every party in between (including my own) Men, women, everyone.

Anyone who used the word persecuted towards themselves. Anyone who threw the word privilege at everyone else. I was getting sick of the Victim mentality that seemed that everyone in a first world country loves to bear.

My husband had to calm me down.

He said "Baby, you can't make people care. Being angry about it is just going to make you feel worse. God places different burdens on different hearts. If this is your burden, that means he wants you to lift them up in prayer. "

I thought about that for a moment.

I realized then that, like different fields of Ministry, God lays different burdens on different people. Just because I'm more concerned with the Middle East, does not mean that the people who are more concerned with the state of affairs in the U.S. are bad.

Also, it doesn't mean they don't care about what's going on in Iraq.

Most people who've I spoken with, are concern and are sad about it, they just think about constantly as much as I am.

They may be thinking about something else that God what's them to pray for. 

They may have a different burden.

So I lightened up. I'm still following the stories very closely. I post just a frequently. 

I can still spread the news, but I can't get mad if no one comments on it. 

But most importantly, I pray for them.

Canon Andrew white (AKA, The Vicar of Baghdad) said in an interview once, that people come up to him constantly and ask him what can they do to assist him with his work in Iraq.

He says the same thing:

 "Pray for us".

And that's what I do.

Every night, before I go to bed, I pray for him and all those people for safety, food, shelter, and Grace.

Almost every morning, I crack open The Common Book of Prayer and pray the morning Prayer of Peace for them.

I pray for God's wisdom and peace for myself as well. 

Lately it's been on my heart to assist in someway to provide clean water for the Christians living in the slums of Islamabad, Pakistan, but I don't know how. I've pulled up some ideas, but I still don't know how. 

So I pray for God's wisdom to show me how and continue to research.

That's all I can do. Pray, research, and spread the word. 

And that's not little. According to Scriptures, pray itself, can move mountains. So never feel like prayer is meaningless.

Friends and Convictions

There comes a time in every Christians life that you have to truly come to terms, in a matter of speaking, to your convictions.

What do you truly believe in, what's a hill worth dying on, and how to express your convictions without seeming like your judging everyone.


The latter happens to me all the time. I have many friends who are not Christian, and have had friends (and family) who automatically think I judge them.

Why is this? Because I do accept the Bible as complete truth.

and there are some things in the Bible that do nit fit into our modern day philosophy.

an example:

I believe in a heaven and a Hell.  I can not stand by the popular statement of our time that says "If your a good person, you will go to heaven".

This logic, I believe, is flawed.

What makes a person good? I'm sure there are a lot of people in prison who believe they are good people. I'm sure the people that bombed the World Trade Towers considered themselves to be good people.

I believe in the, what would called core values, of Christianity.

1. There is a God and Jesus Christ is his only son.

2. there is no way of coming to the father without going to the son first.


I bring this up because this has come up numerous times.

"You think your better than me because you think your going to heaven and I'm going to hell!"

Again, this logic is false.

The whole idea that Christianity is a way to appear better than anyone else goes against basic scriptures.

It might be the case if I believe I was saved by my works, but I'm not . (Though I do find certain works important, but that's another blog for another day.)

I once saw a video of a street preacher standing in front of a strip club. He was being completely disrespectful, telling ANYONE who went in there they were going to hell.

I could never do that because I don't know what's in a person's heart. I'm sure there are plenty of Christ believing men (and women) who go into these type of establishments on a regular bases. I could make the argument that this is not the environment for a believe, but I can't tell consenting adults what to do. I cold only tell them my views on the subject if they come up and ask me.

Anyway, back to the preacher.

One man, who I believe is the owner of the club, came out and spoke with the preacher. He wasn't looking for a fight, he just wanted to speak to the man. He asked the preacher "Who are you to judge anyone?"

The preacher replied "I have the right to judge because I do not sin!"

Well, Buddy....I could name a sin that you actually do...LYING!


I think there are some Christians that get confused with the instances that Christ said "Go and sin no more". I don't think it means that when we receive his love we stop sinning!


Got Questions.org. Had a good point on this: http://www.gotquestions.org/go-and-sin-no-more.html

The article states:

"When we turn to Christ and receive His forgiveness, we experience a heart change (Luke 9:23;Acts 1:8). Forgiveness is not cheap, and it does not excuse the sin that separated us from God. It cost God everything to offer us the cleansing that pronounces us righteous before Him (John 3:16;15:13). Rather than continue in the self-centered path that led us astray from Him to begin with, the forgiven can walk in God’s path (Luke 14:27). A move toward God is a move toward righteousness, purity, and holy living (1 Peter 1:16;Romans 8:29). We cannot experience the transforming power of forgiveness without being forever changed."

But while we are still flesh, we still sin. We still stumble. I can never say I'm better than someone because 1. I don't know their heart, and 2. I have my own sins to worry about.

That being said I still have my own convictions. If a friend came up to me asking "My boyfriend and I are thinking about living together, what do you think?"

I would be honest with that friend and say I think you should get married first."

But, I can not make those decisions for an adult. They have to make them for themselves.

Which I think is the whole point of Grace. If God wanted to, he could show up on the earth right now and every person would automatically believe in him. There would be no question.

We would be like the angles and the demons. They have no choice but to believe in God because they already know he exists.

We have to believe in by faith not by sight. Which works on our free will. Despite what some pastors may preach on, God wants free thinkers. I don't think it's wrong for someone to question their beliefs.

You have to know what you believe in, not just simply follow blindly.

If you have questions about your faith, ask your pastor or read the Bible, pray, and ask your peers.

One of the things my priest says as the best way to understand you Bible is to pray before reading, read, than pray when your done.

So, back to my original train of thought (Sorry bout the little side trip. Darn ADD)

People often ask me "How can you love someone if you believe there is a chance of them going to hell".

Well, if I didn't love someone because the didn't believe in Christ, I wouldn't be very Christ like.

Jesus did not seek to spend time with believers, he sought out sinners. The ones Pharisees refused and rejected. If I spent  my time with people only in the Church, I wouldn't be a very good Christian. It would make things easier, yes, but my faith in Christ is not about convenience.

To paraphrase C.S. Lewis, if you're looking for convenience, I do not recommend Christianity.

In fact, to not share my faith with non-believers, would be the opposite of love.

That's something even hardcore atheist Penn Jillete understood:

STOP TALKING TO NEWLYWEDS ABOUT CHILDREN!!!

This has nothing to do with head coverings but I feel this is an important message to all people in the Christian community (and other religions) that needs to be addressed.

As many know, I got married a month ago. I was a virgin until my wedding night. But before I was married, before we were even engaged, family and friends started talking about when we have children.

I want to be clear. My husband and I DO want children. We're looking forward to having children someday. But, come on, let us get a handle on our bills and enjoy each other.

While we were courting and during our engagement, we did not have a lot of just the two of us time. Now that we live in our own apartment, we're learning on how we live together and on our own.

And I got to say, we're doing very well. We're paying all of our bills on time, with enough for food and other stuff, we keep our home clean and tidy, and we enjoy each other's company. But just because we're adjusting well does not mean we are ready for children right now.

Now I know when most people talk to us about children, they mostly mean within the next couple of years. But there have been the occasional joke about getting pregnant now.

I found out that we are not the only ones people talk to about having children. Apparently this happens to a lot, if not all newlyweds.

I didn't marry my husband just to have kids, although someday we will and I have confidence that when God gives us a child in his time, we will do just fine.

But I don't need to hear about children every time I see some family members and friends.

There's a bit of a pressure for newlyweds not to have children but how to raise their children. Everyone, particularly people who do have children, always have something to say about everything.

Everything from attachment parenting vs. strict structure, to breastfeeding vs formula, vaccines, day care vs. stay at home, circumcision, cloth vs disposable diapers, names, housing arrangements, etc.

(By the way, if you completely miss the point of this blog, and start commenting about how which one of the above I should go, I will delete your comment ASAP!)

I shouldn't have to worry about any of this right now. All I should have to focus on is paying my bills; do well at my job, and being the best partner I can be to my spouse.

But when I get the baby talk it keeps me up at night. My stomach churns and clenches, and my mind races.

You see, there are people who are natural worriers. I am one of them. I one of the biggest worry warts you'll meet.

I'm learning on how to handle it. With me getting married, changes at my place of employment, living on my own, and paying my own bills, I worry about the future. I worry about the two of us. And now that I am sexually active, I worry about what happens if I get pregnant. My husband and I are very careful and use protection, but the only thing that's 100% effective is not having sex. And we all know that aint going to happen!

My husband helps balance me out. I just have to remember to talk to him about how I feel. He's a former worrier but now he's chilled out more.

He helps me to remember that everything is in God's hands. We do our part. We pay our bills, we work hard at our jobs, we budget our money, and we always use protection. But bumps happen in life and we have to remember to roll with them and remember God is always watching out for us and help provides for us.

And we've talked about kids. We know right now, by choice is not the best time to have kids. But we talk and open and pray about the day we become parents that God will lead us to wise decisions.

 But that time is not now.

It's not something I need to worry about right now.

My husband says this phrase that he learned from his father and has become a mental mantra to me.

"Don't borrow trouble".

It basically means don't take on worries that you don't have to worry about.

I don't have to worry about kids now. Really, I don't need to worry at all about anything.

Like I said. We want kids, we love kids, but right now it's about us becoming the best spouses we can be. Later that will turn into being the best parents we can be.

But, lord willing, that won't happen for a while. So can we PLEASE drop the subject?

I have enough on my plate already!

Shaming of Housewives

Being on the internet a lot, you hear the word "Shame" quite a bit.

There's slut shaming, fat shaming, etc.

All of which are bad. Shaming anyone for whatever reason is bad. But there's something I noticed which seems to be, eh, alright. Particularly, and I hate to say this, amongst the feminist community.

Shaming a woman because she chooses to stay at home and raise her children rather than have a career. 

I want to say something. I am newly married. I work right now as a customer service rep. My husband works as a satellite installer. Right now the two of us make an okay living. Not rich but not poverty either.

And yes, my husband makes more than I do. There's nothing wrong with that. My husband is older than me and he has more work experience. Plus he works manual labor, which when you do that, you tend to make more than say answering phones like I do.

His goal in fact is to climb up the latter. He'd like to get into a management position. If that happens he would make a salary that would give me the option of working. He won’t be able to apply for a position like that for at least 2-4 years. 

I've expressed that I've wanted to become a home maker to some, and oh my gosh! The responses I got...

"Why?"

"Oh, you'll get SO board?"

"Why would you want to depend on a man?"

And the list goes on.

You see, in the past 100 years women have made great strides in the work place. We've fought for our right to work side by side with men, make equal wages, and hold high positions in companies. All this is wonderful.

But every woman is different. Not every woman dreams of becoming a CEO of a company, a doctor, a lawyer, etc.

Some women dream a lot like I do. Getting married, having children, and raising those children in a warm and loving home.  And that is also wonderful.

I'm sure there will be people reading this wondering "whose shaming house wives?"

Do a quick google search. Seriously. 

Look up "Housewives Are"

Then look at the first three auto completes. 

 

1. "Housewives are parasites" (A quote taken straight from feminist Icon, Gloria Steinem.

"“[Housewives] are dependent creatures who are still children…parasites.” ~ Gloria Steinem, “What It Would Be Like If Women Win,” Time, August 31, 1970. "

2. "Housewives are Lazy."

3. "Housewives are useless"

Click on any of the entries that pop up.

For some reason, we as a society think that when we watch the TV shows "Desperate Housewives" and "The real Housewives of Atlanta, that's how all housewives really are."

Let me tell you something. Most housewives don't have maids and Nannies. That's why they're there.

In fact, experts say that the work a stay at home mom equals up to the work load of two full time jobs.

So why does our society shame these women?

More importantly, why does the feminist movement look down on these women who CHOOSE this lifestyle?

Feminism is supposed to help women live freely and choose their own destiny. But when a woman chooses a more traditional role in life, we snub our noses and look down on her, as if she's got the plague in the renaissance era.

Why is it that a woman chooses this, we ask her why does she need to depend on a man?

But, if a man decides to be a stay at home dad, we applaud him because he's breaking the social norms.

Isn't that sexism? Isn't that a double standard?

Being a stay at home parent is a choice that is optional when one parent is financially stable, the other has the choice to raise the children rather the assistance of nannies or day care.

As a former day care teacher myself, I would like to send my kids to preschool to help develop their social, cognitive, emotional, and mechanical skills.

But I saw way to many kids who were pretty much left at daycare all day. Only interaction they got with their parents were drop off, pick up, dinner, then bed.

I'm NOT shaming those parents. They had no options. To give their children better lives, they had to work late hours.

But if I have the option to not do that, you bet I'm taking that chance.

And that is MY choice!

The Standard of Modesty for Christian Men and Women

This is a topic that I’ve been struggling with (and still somewhat am).

 What are the standards of modesty for both men and women?

Whenever we here a modesty lecture, it’s mostly aimed at women.

I didn’t really get it. Why women to cover ourselves but men aren’t as pushed to as we are.

I talked to my fiancé about it. His thoughts were men are but in different ways.

At first I began to feel kind f down. Started to doubt my entire stance on modesty.  I almost felt it was unfair that a man could walk around in cut off shirt and shorts were not considered immodest but a woman in a tank and shorts is.

My fiancé thought that was silly. Asked me “Who would consider a tank top immodest? That’s when I realized. Lately, I’ve put on a brand new standard of modesty on myself. That’s something personal to me. I barely wear shirts that are less than three quarter sleeves if I wear the house. This is something new to me and it’s only FOR ME.

I don’t look at a woman who wears a short sleeve t-shirt and think her immodest.

But he told me something I didn’t think about.

You see, men and women are told not to carry ourselves in a sexual manner.

Now, you could say a woman who wears a low cut midriff top, mini skirt, and starts to twerk on the dance floor, is carrying herself in a sexual manner, (To my PERSONAL standards) depending on her intent.

The same could be a man who comes up to a woman, and begins to stroke her hair, caress her cheek, and whisper seductive things in her ear.

Really, the same could be said to a man who is rolling his hips and caressing his female dance partner softly.

The question with these three scenarios: What is the intent?

You see as Children of God we are told to carry ourselves in a modest manner. Yes, women are told to cover but men are also told not to act like animals.

Now, what about dressing modestly for men.

Well, men (And women) are told not to be prideful and arrogant. So think of it this way:

A man who bench presses every day, tans every day, gels his hair and tweezes his eyebrows every. He goes about wearing tight pants, a cut off shirt, and designer sunglasses.

Depending on his intent he could be carrying himself in an immodest manner because he is showing off his looks. He looks at all the women and thinks to himself “I could have her, and her, and her, anytime I want. There’s no way they could resist me.” And then goes up to women. Buys them a coffee, tells them they’re

sexy, caress their hair, and whisper inappropriate things in her ear.

That is immodesty. He is not looking at the women as people but as sexual objects for one purpose. He’s not looking for a relationship. He’s looking for a booty call.

That’s the important thing, I think. The way we carry ourselves and our intent. The way we look at the opposite sex and the way we want the opposite sex to look at us.

Father, Forgive Them, For They Know Not What They do

We’ve all heard that verse, right? Surely, even those that were not raised in Christian homes.

When Christ was near death, broken, bleeding, while the people who nailed him there taunt him, mocked him, and spit on him.

Did he curse at them? No…

Did he hate them? No…

He asked God to forgive them…

How many of us can say that when someone wrongs us?

I’m “preaching” to myself, here. This is something God has been working on me for a while.

As you may have noticed, I get angry!

I’m human. We all do.

I got angry when I saw FEMEN sawing down a crucifix. I get angry when people crazy for believing in something they can’t understand.

I get angry when people wrong me. I forget that behind the faces that insult me, lays a soul. A human being with feelings just like I do. Someone who God created just like he created me.

I’ve tried to justify my anger.

“They insulted me! They “persecuted” me! I am entitled to anger!”

We all do this. We’re human, right?

Let me tell everyone, including my fellow Christians in America. Most of us don’t know what persecution really is!

What happened during Holy Week in Saudi Arabia was persecution! Not someone telling you that you believe in fairy tales because you read the Bible.

“But we have to do what we can to preserve Christian values in America, Apple!

What are we to do with those who want to destroy Christianity in this country?”

Do ye have such little faith that you honestly think Christianity can be destroyed?

Have you forgotten God’s got a plan? That he knows all? He knows our past, present, and future?

And most of all, have you forgotten the teachings of Christ?

“Matthew 6:14-15

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

“Mark 11:25

And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. "

“But what are we to do with them after we forgive them?”

Pray for them. 

“That’s it?”

I never got that. When Christians say “what, just pray?”

To a non-believer, praying may seem like nothing. As if you are just wishing like you would on a star.

There are two things that the Bible says are our most power tools. Love and Prayer.

And when you pray in love, you develop a peace in your soul and you can move mountains!

“We have to love them to?”

Did you forget the greatest commandments?

“30 you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.” 31 The second is this, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” There is no other commandment greater than these.”

Yet with this commandment (which fulfills the law. No need to put the 10 commandments in front of the court house when you live by this law!)

Why are we as Christians not known by our love?

Someone pushes us, boy do we push right back.

But that’s not what God told us to do!

Remember “turn the other cheek”?

Remember the Beatitudes?

Remember Christ praying for those who killed him?

Obvious Feminism?

Those that follow my blog have probably seen my post on feminism.

If you did, you probably saw where I referred to myself as a feminist.

Yep. The girl who covers herself head to toe is a feminist. I believe in equal rights, equal wages, and equal opportunities for all, regardless of gender, race, religion, or sexual preference.

Why do I bring this up? Well, I was having a conversation with someone and when I told them I was a feminist, they said

“I would have never taken you for one”

I asked “really?”

They said “Not in an obvious way, No.”

And it made me think. What is considered an “Obvious Feminist?”

Thanks to the internet, it’s pretty easy to wear your heart on your sleeve. With social Medias like Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Youtube, etc. It’s pretty easy to see where someone stands.

If someone is left wing, they more than likely are going to share some kind of meme about it. Same if your right wing, Libertarian, Christian, atheist, Creationist, evolutionist, etc.

This is particularly true with feminism.

If you go on Tumblr there are A LOT of feminist pages. (Including lots of FEMEN pages).

Most of these pages annoy me!

Why? Because most of these pages aren’t so much pro women as they are anti-men. Always talking about privilege, the patriarchy, and just how you are a worthless human being if you are straight, white, Cis-gendered male.

This is what most people, sadly, think of when they hear the word feminist.

These types of women almost made me not want to be a feminist. That is, until I looked up the actual definition itself.

fem·i·nism

  [fem-uh-niz-uhm]  Show IPA

noun

1.

The doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.

2.

( sometimes initial capital letter ) an organized movement for the attainment of such rights for women.

3.

feminine character.

Origin: 
1890–95;  < French féminisme;  see feminine, -ism

That’s what a feminist is. Someone who believes that in our society, men and women should be treated as equals.

I think some people think I’m not a feminist because of my faith.

Here’s the thing. I live my personal life as a theocracy. A life dedicated in serving God.

And though I spread the word of God, I do not shove it down anyone’s throats. I do not want laws that deny people their American rights because it may or may not go against my personal beliefs.

Maybe because people think I’m not a feminist because I believe in the Bible and the verse it:

“² Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. ²⁴ But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.”

BUT! People who love to quote this verse. Rather they are pro or anti feminism, forget about the verse RIGHT AFTER IT!

“^Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.

So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church.”

It says Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church.

Has there been any better of example of submission, love, and cherishing than Christ dying on that cross for his bride “the church”?

When a man is head of the house, it means he is a spiritual leader of the home. The pastor of the home. That doesn’t mean he is allowed to do whatever he wants to do and the wife has to just stand there and agree.

I’m about to be married in a few weeks and my fiancé makes more money than me.

Does this mean he is he allowed to go out a buy whatever he wants?

NO! He has to run it by me first. We talk, we discuss, we budget and we make the decision together!

Now some women, even Christian women don’t see their husbands as the head of the house in anyway. That they are equals in every way. Even don’t have a problem with women as pastors.

I personally am on the fence on that particular subject. Still, if a woman wants to be a pastor, and she feels lead, sure she has that right as a human being and as an American.

You see, we all have personal beliefs. But that’s the thing. They are PERSONAL.

I love my life. I follow God. I tell people my beliefs but only if they are willing to listen. If not, I pray for them and I talk about YouTube videos, TV, comics, novels, etc.

That’s what I can’t stand about a lot of feminist now and days.

You see, so many feminist seem to have different standards of what it means to be pro women’s rights.

You wear makeup? Why do you try so hard to please men?

You wear a head scarf? What a cruel male dominated culture you live in. you must be oppressed.

You wear miniskirts and high heels? You must be so desperate to attract men?

You wear dresses? Why are you trying so hard to fit into the mold of so called “femininity”?

These seem funny, right? No way could they be true.

But my God, are they EVER!

Why do judge each other so harshly?

A feminist does not care what a woman does. A feminist cares what a woman is not allowed to do but a man can.

That is equal rights.

That’s what feminism is.

Why Women Choose To Cover? Busting the Myths.

I haven't always been modest, well at least not to my standards of modesty now, but recently I've felt a real conviction to be covered. And you know what? I feel so free a liberated!

As odd as it sounds I feel more comfortable and more free the more I'm covered up.

But I've gotten a lot of questions and comments since I've started, and I've come to expect that. So I decided to bust some misconceptions about women who cover.

Here are a list of misconceptions about women who cover.

1. They are Oppressed.

Oh yes, this is my LEAST favorite misconception.I can't tell you how much this statement winds me up! (I'm looking at you, FEMEN!) Somehow, even though I CHOOSE to cover my head and my body, I am oppressed. Because Modesty is  a way for men to dominate women and their sexuality.

Here's the thing, people. If I CHOOSE to live this life style.....it's NOT oppression!

When I decided to practice head covering, everyone one in my life was surprised. I brought it up to my fiance. He was curious for my reasons why, but when I told him, he said to me:

"If this is what you feel lead to do by God, I can't stop you."

I had to ask my future husband because this was the man who was going to stand by my side and hold my hand in public. I had to know if he was okay with this.

He had no idea I was thinking about doing this. This was something God laid on my heart. And my future husband supports me.

2. They're legalistic.

Some of my Christian friends and even  some family members were worried I was going to become legalistic. That this was a step away from only wearing skirt, wearing no make up (I hardly wear the stuff. Not because I think it's sinful. I'm just too lazy to put the garbage on in the mornings) not eating pork, praying for healing rather than go to a doctor, etc.

Yes, it's true, being modest, and even covering you head is in the Bible (Read 1st Corinthians) but it's not exactly a commandment. In those time, most, if not all women cover their heads. If you didn't, back in those times, you were seen as a prostitute. Some churches require women to cover their heads. In fact, up until the 1960's, Catholic women kept doilies in t he purses at all times because they never knew when they would attend church.

Some Christian women, mostly orthodox Greeks, cover their heads, but it's not a requirement. 

I recently joined a facebook group of other veiled christian women and all of them feel the same as I do. This is a personal decision God placed on their hearts. They don't shove their beliefs down Antone's throats.

As I told my boss at work. I don't feel this is something every woman should do. This is just something I feel God wants from me.

3. They are ashamed of their bodies.

Whether it be because men of the church shame women and their bodies or the women are just fat, they have to be ashamed of their bodies, right? Why cover up of what they're proud of?

Again, this really winds me up.

I am so sick to death that every decision a woman makes, it is because her world revolves around men. Not just her husband who she loves with all her heart, but men in general. Because men think are bodies are lustful mind control products and thus it is our job to protect them from lusting after women. Or we don't have the perfect bodies and we're ashamed a man is never going to love us unless we cover up our fat rolls.

There's something I want to show you. This was me on my 21st birthday:

 

Still kind of modest compared to today's standards, right?

I CRINGE when I see this photo. Reminds me of days I rather wish to forget. days when I cared what boys  thought of me. Wear a corset so they think your sexy. Put on a skirt that goes above your knees so they don't think you're a prude. Dance seductively so they don't think you're a stick in the mud.

The list goes on.

Anytime I wore short skirts, low cut tops, it was for men. I started wearing more layers for myself and for my God.

I'm not trying to say every woman wears tight, short clothing for men, but I've known too many who did. Sadly, I was one of them.

So when was I more oppressed? When I used to wear short skirts and fishnets, dancing like I was a monkey in a mating ritual? Or choosing to cover myself so the world can see my heart, my mind, my soul. To do what I feel God wants me to do. To feel happy and free.

I have chosen my path. We all walk one.

just not everyone's is the same.

A letter to FEMEN

Dear FEMEN,

I wrote this letter to you to explain on why, as a feminist, I cannot support you.

You see, I am a Christian woman who chooses to cover my body, including my head.

I have seen your stories all over the world. Painting your bodies and exposing your breasts. That’s okay. A lot of women do it and like you, I don’t like the double standard that women can go to a beach and if she takes off her top, she’s arrested but when a man does it, it’s normal.

I understand that.

The thing I don’t understand is that you think I’m a slave to my faith.  You think I cover my head and my body because I am “oppressed” when in reality, I think The real oppression, particularly in this country, is the oppression young girls feel about having the perfect bodies so they become slaves to diets and eating disorders. They watch TV and see all the expensive, revealing, tight, name brand clothes and listen to the advertisements saying they must buy them to have an identity in this world.

In this country, that is the enemy in my mind.

My faith in Christ does not bound me to slavery. It sets me free. Before I had a real relationship with my God I was bound in depression, lost in hopelessness, and day dreamed every day of the many ways to kill myself. Why? Because the cruelty of society. Society who told me I was fat, ugly, stupid, and worthless.

I found my true happiness in my faith and I dedicate my life to serving God. I dream of going around the world and give food for the hungry, build homes for the homeless, and give the broken, a hug and a crying shoulder.

You see, I’m sure in many ways, we’re a like. You hate to see suffering. As do I. I hate it when people use faith and twist it into legalism and bondage. Telling people that every little thing they do, they will go to hell. That they must do what their religious figures say to earn brownie points with God. I hate seeing a weeping woman. My blood boils when I hear of domestic abuse news stories.

We both want liberation and freedom for women. So you see? We’re not so different.

Except there is something that separates us. You see, if a woman expresses herself, say, taking off her clothes and screaming “Fuck your morals!” I believe she has that right, and I won’t try to take that away from her. (Along with being a Christian, I’m also a Libertarian.)

You on the other hand tell women they should take off their clothes when they don’t want to (You’re not demanding it, no, but still…) You say women are meant to think for themselves, but when women tell you I want to keep my body cover and wear my hijab/ burqa/ Niqub/ head covering, you say “There signs say that there are free, but there eyes say help me!”

Don’t you think that’s kind of patronizing? That’s you saying “they’re brain washed” “they’re dumb” “I have to be their voice!”

If I need you to be my voice, I’ll s end you an email. But until then, I have a voice of my own and I use it freely.

You see, my faith in God was MY choice! Choosing to put on the head covering was MY choice! (No one in my town, church, or even family wears the head covering, and many think I’m insane!) Remaining a virgin was MY choice (My parents were dreading, yet preparing the day as a teenager that I ask for Birth control because I was in love.  They were so happy when I asked for a purity ring instead.

I am a free woman. I made choices in my life. Some of my choices are not popular in our society, and that’s okay. I was never meant to fit in. I stand up to injustice. But the difference between you and me: I do it with reason and tact.

Before I act I think “Will this truly help? “

I would never disrespect you, FEMEN. If you gave a speech, I would not come up to you and through water bottles, as you have with priests. I would never say to fuck everything you believe in, as you do with my morals. I would never saw down symbols or items you have such care for, as you did to my faith’s cross. I would never go into your homes and meeting places and disrupt your time together, as you have done by going into my churches during people’s precious moment of prayer.

I would never say I know better than you, as you claim to do for so many Christian, Muslim, and other women of faith.

You do not speak for me and I do not speak for you.

Let me live my life the way I choose to live.

THAT, FEMEN, IS FREEDOM.