Shaming of Housewives

Being on the internet a lot, you hear the word "Shame" quite a bit.

There's slut shaming, fat shaming, etc.

All of which are bad. Shaming anyone for whatever reason is bad. But there's something I noticed which seems to be, eh, alright. Particularly, and I hate to say this, amongst the feminist community.

Shaming a woman because she chooses to stay at home and raise her children rather than have a career. 

I want to say something. I am newly married. I work right now as a customer service rep. My husband works as a satellite installer. Right now the two of us make an okay living. Not rich but not poverty either.

And yes, my husband makes more than I do. There's nothing wrong with that. My husband is older than me and he has more work experience. Plus he works manual labor, which when you do that, you tend to make more than say answering phones like I do.

His goal in fact is to climb up the latter. He'd like to get into a management position. If that happens he would make a salary that would give me the option of working. He won’t be able to apply for a position like that for at least 2-4 years. 

I've expressed that I've wanted to become a home maker to some, and oh my gosh! The responses I got...

"Why?"

"Oh, you'll get SO board?"

"Why would you want to depend on a man?"

And the list goes on.

You see, in the past 100 years women have made great strides in the work place. We've fought for our right to work side by side with men, make equal wages, and hold high positions in companies. All this is wonderful.

But every woman is different. Not every woman dreams of becoming a CEO of a company, a doctor, a lawyer, etc.

Some women dream a lot like I do. Getting married, having children, and raising those children in a warm and loving home.  And that is also wonderful.

I'm sure there will be people reading this wondering "whose shaming house wives?"

Do a quick google search. Seriously. 

Look up "Housewives Are"

Then look at the first three auto completes. 

 

1. "Housewives are parasites" (A quote taken straight from feminist Icon, Gloria Steinem.

"“[Housewives] are dependent creatures who are still children…parasites.” ~ Gloria Steinem, “What It Would Be Like If Women Win,” Time, August 31, 1970. "

2. "Housewives are Lazy."

3. "Housewives are useless"

Click on any of the entries that pop up.

For some reason, we as a society think that when we watch the TV shows "Desperate Housewives" and "The real Housewives of Atlanta, that's how all housewives really are."

Let me tell you something. Most housewives don't have maids and Nannies. That's why they're there.

In fact, experts say that the work a stay at home mom equals up to the work load of two full time jobs.

So why does our society shame these women?

More importantly, why does the feminist movement look down on these women who CHOOSE this lifestyle?

Feminism is supposed to help women live freely and choose their own destiny. But when a woman chooses a more traditional role in life, we snub our noses and look down on her, as if she's got the plague in the renaissance era.

Why is it that a woman chooses this, we ask her why does she need to depend on a man?

But, if a man decides to be a stay at home dad, we applaud him because he's breaking the social norms.

Isn't that sexism? Isn't that a double standard?

Being a stay at home parent is a choice that is optional when one parent is financially stable, the other has the choice to raise the children rather the assistance of nannies or day care.

As a former day care teacher myself, I would like to send my kids to preschool to help develop their social, cognitive, emotional, and mechanical skills.

But I saw way to many kids who were pretty much left at daycare all day. Only interaction they got with their parents were drop off, pick up, dinner, then bed.

I'm NOT shaming those parents. They had no options. To give their children better lives, they had to work late hours.

But if I have the option to not do that, you bet I'm taking that chance.

And that is MY choice!