Obvious Feminism?

Those that follow my blog have probably seen my post on feminism.

If you did, you probably saw where I referred to myself as a feminist.

Yep. The girl who covers herself head to toe is a feminist. I believe in equal rights, equal wages, and equal opportunities for all, regardless of gender, race, religion, or sexual preference.

Why do I bring this up? Well, I was having a conversation with someone and when I told them I was a feminist, they said

“I would have never taken you for one”

I asked “really?”

They said “Not in an obvious way, No.”

And it made me think. What is considered an “Obvious Feminist?”

Thanks to the internet, it’s pretty easy to wear your heart on your sleeve. With social Medias like Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Youtube, etc. It’s pretty easy to see where someone stands.

If someone is left wing, they more than likely are going to share some kind of meme about it. Same if your right wing, Libertarian, Christian, atheist, Creationist, evolutionist, etc.

This is particularly true with feminism.

If you go on Tumblr there are A LOT of feminist pages. (Including lots of FEMEN pages).

Most of these pages annoy me!

Why? Because most of these pages aren’t so much pro women as they are anti-men. Always talking about privilege, the patriarchy, and just how you are a worthless human being if you are straight, white, Cis-gendered male.

This is what most people, sadly, think of when they hear the word feminist.

These types of women almost made me not want to be a feminist. That is, until I looked up the actual definition itself.

fem·i·nism

  [fem-uh-niz-uhm]  Show IPA

noun

1.

The doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men.

2.

( sometimes initial capital letter ) an organized movement for the attainment of such rights for women.

3.

feminine character.

Origin: 
1890–95;  < French féminisme;  see feminine, -ism

That’s what a feminist is. Someone who believes that in our society, men and women should be treated as equals.

I think some people think I’m not a feminist because of my faith.

Here’s the thing. I live my personal life as a theocracy. A life dedicated in serving God.

And though I spread the word of God, I do not shove it down anyone’s throats. I do not want laws that deny people their American rights because it may or may not go against my personal beliefs.

Maybe because people think I’m not a feminist because I believe in the Bible and the verse it:

“² Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. ²³ For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. ²⁴ But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.”

BUT! People who love to quote this verse. Rather they are pro or anti feminism, forget about the verse RIGHT AFTER IT!

“^Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her.

So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church.”

It says Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church.

Has there been any better of example of submission, love, and cherishing than Christ dying on that cross for his bride “the church”?

When a man is head of the house, it means he is a spiritual leader of the home. The pastor of the home. That doesn’t mean he is allowed to do whatever he wants to do and the wife has to just stand there and agree.

I’m about to be married in a few weeks and my fiancé makes more money than me.

Does this mean he is he allowed to go out a buy whatever he wants?

NO! He has to run it by me first. We talk, we discuss, we budget and we make the decision together!

Now some women, even Christian women don’t see their husbands as the head of the house in anyway. That they are equals in every way. Even don’t have a problem with women as pastors.

I personally am on the fence on that particular subject. Still, if a woman wants to be a pastor, and she feels lead, sure she has that right as a human being and as an American.

You see, we all have personal beliefs. But that’s the thing. They are PERSONAL.

I love my life. I follow God. I tell people my beliefs but only if they are willing to listen. If not, I pray for them and I talk about YouTube videos, TV, comics, novels, etc.

That’s what I can’t stand about a lot of feminist now and days.

You see, so many feminist seem to have different standards of what it means to be pro women’s rights.

You wear makeup? Why do you try so hard to please men?

You wear a head scarf? What a cruel male dominated culture you live in. you must be oppressed.

You wear miniskirts and high heels? You must be so desperate to attract men?

You wear dresses? Why are you trying so hard to fit into the mold of so called “femininity”?

These seem funny, right? No way could they be true.

But my God, are they EVER!

Why do judge each other so harshly?

A feminist does not care what a woman does. A feminist cares what a woman is not allowed to do but a man can.

That is equal rights.

That’s what feminism is.

Why Women Choose To Cover? Busting the Myths.

I haven't always been modest, well at least not to my standards of modesty now, but recently I've felt a real conviction to be covered. And you know what? I feel so free a liberated!

As odd as it sounds I feel more comfortable and more free the more I'm covered up.

But I've gotten a lot of questions and comments since I've started, and I've come to expect that. So I decided to bust some misconceptions about women who cover.

Here are a list of misconceptions about women who cover.

1. They are Oppressed.

Oh yes, this is my LEAST favorite misconception.I can't tell you how much this statement winds me up! (I'm looking at you, FEMEN!) Somehow, even though I CHOOSE to cover my head and my body, I am oppressed. Because Modesty is  a way for men to dominate women and their sexuality.

Here's the thing, people. If I CHOOSE to live this life style.....it's NOT oppression!

When I decided to practice head covering, everyone one in my life was surprised. I brought it up to my fiance. He was curious for my reasons why, but when I told him, he said to me:

"If this is what you feel lead to do by God, I can't stop you."

I had to ask my future husband because this was the man who was going to stand by my side and hold my hand in public. I had to know if he was okay with this.

He had no idea I was thinking about doing this. This was something God laid on my heart. And my future husband supports me.

2. They're legalistic.

Some of my Christian friends and even  some family members were worried I was going to become legalistic. That this was a step away from only wearing skirt, wearing no make up (I hardly wear the stuff. Not because I think it's sinful. I'm just too lazy to put the garbage on in the mornings) not eating pork, praying for healing rather than go to a doctor, etc.

Yes, it's true, being modest, and even covering you head is in the Bible (Read 1st Corinthians) but it's not exactly a commandment. In those time, most, if not all women cover their heads. If you didn't, back in those times, you were seen as a prostitute. Some churches require women to cover their heads. In fact, up until the 1960's, Catholic women kept doilies in t he purses at all times because they never knew when they would attend church.

Some Christian women, mostly orthodox Greeks, cover their heads, but it's not a requirement. 

I recently joined a facebook group of other veiled christian women and all of them feel the same as I do. This is a personal decision God placed on their hearts. They don't shove their beliefs down Antone's throats.

As I told my boss at work. I don't feel this is something every woman should do. This is just something I feel God wants from me.

3. They are ashamed of their bodies.

Whether it be because men of the church shame women and their bodies or the women are just fat, they have to be ashamed of their bodies, right? Why cover up of what they're proud of?

Again, this really winds me up.

I am so sick to death that every decision a woman makes, it is because her world revolves around men. Not just her husband who she loves with all her heart, but men in general. Because men think are bodies are lustful mind control products and thus it is our job to protect them from lusting after women. Or we don't have the perfect bodies and we're ashamed a man is never going to love us unless we cover up our fat rolls.

There's something I want to show you. This was me on my 21st birthday:

 

Still kind of modest compared to today's standards, right?

I CRINGE when I see this photo. Reminds me of days I rather wish to forget. days when I cared what boys  thought of me. Wear a corset so they think your sexy. Put on a skirt that goes above your knees so they don't think you're a prude. Dance seductively so they don't think you're a stick in the mud.

The list goes on.

Anytime I wore short skirts, low cut tops, it was for men. I started wearing more layers for myself and for my God.

I'm not trying to say every woman wears tight, short clothing for men, but I've known too many who did. Sadly, I was one of them.

So when was I more oppressed? When I used to wear short skirts and fishnets, dancing like I was a monkey in a mating ritual? Or choosing to cover myself so the world can see my heart, my mind, my soul. To do what I feel God wants me to do. To feel happy and free.

I have chosen my path. We all walk one.

just not everyone's is the same.

A letter to FEMEN

Dear FEMEN,

I wrote this letter to you to explain on why, as a feminist, I cannot support you.

You see, I am a Christian woman who chooses to cover my body, including my head.

I have seen your stories all over the world. Painting your bodies and exposing your breasts. That’s okay. A lot of women do it and like you, I don’t like the double standard that women can go to a beach and if she takes off her top, she’s arrested but when a man does it, it’s normal.

I understand that.

The thing I don’t understand is that you think I’m a slave to my faith.  You think I cover my head and my body because I am “oppressed” when in reality, I think The real oppression, particularly in this country, is the oppression young girls feel about having the perfect bodies so they become slaves to diets and eating disorders. They watch TV and see all the expensive, revealing, tight, name brand clothes and listen to the advertisements saying they must buy them to have an identity in this world.

In this country, that is the enemy in my mind.

My faith in Christ does not bound me to slavery. It sets me free. Before I had a real relationship with my God I was bound in depression, lost in hopelessness, and day dreamed every day of the many ways to kill myself. Why? Because the cruelty of society. Society who told me I was fat, ugly, stupid, and worthless.

I found my true happiness in my faith and I dedicate my life to serving God. I dream of going around the world and give food for the hungry, build homes for the homeless, and give the broken, a hug and a crying shoulder.

You see, I’m sure in many ways, we’re a like. You hate to see suffering. As do I. I hate it when people use faith and twist it into legalism and bondage. Telling people that every little thing they do, they will go to hell. That they must do what their religious figures say to earn brownie points with God. I hate seeing a weeping woman. My blood boils when I hear of domestic abuse news stories.

We both want liberation and freedom for women. So you see? We’re not so different.

Except there is something that separates us. You see, if a woman expresses herself, say, taking off her clothes and screaming “Fuck your morals!” I believe she has that right, and I won’t try to take that away from her. (Along with being a Christian, I’m also a Libertarian.)

You on the other hand tell women they should take off their clothes when they don’t want to (You’re not demanding it, no, but still…) You say women are meant to think for themselves, but when women tell you I want to keep my body cover and wear my hijab/ burqa/ Niqub/ head covering, you say “There signs say that there are free, but there eyes say help me!”

Don’t you think that’s kind of patronizing? That’s you saying “they’re brain washed” “they’re dumb” “I have to be their voice!”

If I need you to be my voice, I’ll s end you an email. But until then, I have a voice of my own and I use it freely.

You see, my faith in God was MY choice! Choosing to put on the head covering was MY choice! (No one in my town, church, or even family wears the head covering, and many think I’m insane!) Remaining a virgin was MY choice (My parents were dreading, yet preparing the day as a teenager that I ask for Birth control because I was in love.  They were so happy when I asked for a purity ring instead.

I am a free woman. I made choices in my life. Some of my choices are not popular in our society, and that’s okay. I was never meant to fit in. I stand up to injustice. But the difference between you and me: I do it with reason and tact.

Before I act I think “Will this truly help? “

I would never disrespect you, FEMEN. If you gave a speech, I would not come up to you and through water bottles, as you have with priests. I would never say to fuck everything you believe in, as you do with my morals. I would never saw down symbols or items you have such care for, as you did to my faith’s cross. I would never go into your homes and meeting places and disrupt your time together, as you have done by going into my churches during people’s precious moment of prayer.

I would never say I know better than you, as you claim to do for so many Christian, Muslim, and other women of faith.

You do not speak for me and I do not speak for you.

Let me live my life the way I choose to live.

THAT, FEMEN, IS FREEDOM.