This is a topic that I’ve been struggling with (and still somewhat
am).
What are the
standards of modesty for both men and women?
Whenever we here a modesty lecture, it’s mostly aimed at
women.
I didn’t really get it. Why women to cover ourselves but men
aren’t as pushed to as we are.
I talked to my fiancé about it. His thoughts were men are
but in different ways.
At first I began to feel kind f down. Started to doubt my
entire stance on modesty. I almost felt
it was unfair that a man could walk around in cut off shirt and shorts were not
considered immodest but a woman in a tank and shorts is.
My fiancé thought that was silly. Asked me “Who would
consider a tank top immodest? That’s when I realized. Lately, I’ve put on a
brand new standard of modesty on myself. That’s something personal to me. I
barely wear shirts that are less than three quarter sleeves if I wear the
house. This is something new to me and it’s only FOR ME.
I don’t look at a woman who wears a short sleeve t-shirt and
think her immodest.
But he told me something I didn’t think about.
You see, men and women are told not to carry ourselves in a
sexual manner.
Now, you could say a woman who wears a low cut midriff top,
mini skirt, and starts to twerk on the dance floor, is carrying herself in a
sexual manner, (To my PERSONAL standards) depending on her intent.
The same could be a man who comes up to a woman, and begins
to stroke her hair, caress her cheek, and whisper seductive things in her ear.
Really, the same could be said to a man who is rolling his
hips and caressing his female dance partner softly.
The question with these three scenarios: What is the intent?
You see as Children of God we are told to carry ourselves in
a modest manner. Yes, women are told to cover but men are also told not to act
like animals.
Now, what about dressing modestly for men.
Well, men (And women) are told not to be prideful and
arrogant. So think of it this way:
A man who bench presses every day, tans every day, gels his
hair and tweezes his eyebrows every. He goes about wearing tight pants, a cut
off shirt, and designer sunglasses.
Depending on his intent he could be carrying himself in an
immodest manner because he is showing off his looks. He looks at all the women
and thinks to himself “I could have her, and her, and her, anytime I want.
There’s no way they could resist me.” And then goes up to women. Buys them a
coffee, tells them they’re
sexy, caress their hair, and whisper inappropriate things
in her ear.
That is immodesty. He is not looking at the women as people
but as sexual objects for one purpose. He’s not looking for a relationship. He’s
looking for a booty call.
That’s the important thing, I think. The way we carry
ourselves and our intent. The way we look at the opposite sex and the way we
want the opposite sex to look at us.
